Genesis 2:18-24
Psalm 8 Heb.l:1-4; 2:5-12
Mark 10:2-16

Pentecost 18
Proper 22B RCL

ON CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

Credits: Sydnor, Fuller ad loc; Our Church Times
10/7/79 p.3; The Living Church 10/4/09 p.4
Previous: 7S,94,97,00

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Two of the Bible readings this morning lead us to think a little about Christian marriage. In the first reading we have the story of the creation of woman, and in the Gospel we have words of Jesus about marriage and divorce. In these few minutes we can only scratch the surface of the subject.

I. All the Early stories in Genesis need to be taken, not so much as literal history, but as stories told to make a theological point, about God or man or the relation between them.

A. So in the story of the creation of woman, the point is not that God mechanically created woman by taking a rib out of the man's side. The point is, what is intended to be said about the relations between the sexes. And that point has been beautifully put by the author Henry, I believe - he puts it this way:

Woman was taken out of man -
Not out of his head, to rule over him;
Not out of his feet, to be trampled under
by him,
But out of his side, to be equal to him, -
Under his arm, that he might protect her,
And near his heart, that he might love her. *

* Women, Pro and Con, an anthology of quotes
Mt. Vernon: Peter Pauper Press, 1958, p.59

That says it very nicely and briefly.

So the creation of woman from man is intended to suggest their common humanity. Man and woman are a unit; they belong together: it is not good that the man should be alone. The point is not that woman should be subordinate to man, but that the two complete each other. Human beings are not like animals at this point: man and woman are real companions for one another. The woman is a helper appropriate for man; man is a helper appropriate for woman. That is the point of the popular word helpmate.

B. And the last verse of the story is a conclusion drawn from the story: therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh. That is, a man or woman leaves their parents and marries, because man and woman share a common humanity and are complementary to each other, and therefore neither is complete without the other. The two become one; they grow into a unity that is deeper than either one alone. That is the arithmetic of marriage: one plus one equals ONE, a unity greater than either one alone.

In this creation story we are taught the close dependence of man and woman on one another Adam utters a cry of delight at finding a congenial and sympathizing companion, after failing to find one among the animals. The relationship of man and woman involves joy - for at last he finds her - and it involves dependence and companionship.

C. A further point of the story does have to do with the physical part of marriage. The human sexual drive is part of God's creative activity:, a man and a woman belong to each other because they were originally one flesh - that is the way the story tries to explain the peculiar strength of the physical attraction between man and woman. The two are naked before each other: un-selfconscious and un-ashamed. The story has nothing to do with nudist colonies; the point is that nudity is here a symbol for mutually frank and honest self-giving. And that kind of self-giving is much harder than living in nudist colonies. But that kind of self-giving is the way that marriage is intended to be.

D. And a final point of the story is this: The creation of one man and one woman takes place in an ideally-perfect place, the Garden of Eden. One man and one woman become one flesh in the ideally perfect place suggested by the Garden of Eden. What that implies is that life-long monogamy is the ideal for the married life. That is the way God intended that life should be.

II. Now when we get to the Gospel reading, we begin to see how that ideal worked out. In the Gospel, Jesus prohibits divorce, and in the Gospel of Mark as we have it in today's reading, there seems to be no exception. Now let us look at this carefully.

What Mark puts into the words of Jesus is that in the time of Moses, divorce was allowed because of the hardness of human hearts - that is, because of human sin. And the point would be that since sin has been done away in Christ, human beings should revert to the time before sin, and therefore divorce should be unknown.

Well, the New Testament Church realized very quickly that despite the new life in Christ, human beings were still open to temptation and sin, and if no divorce was possible in principle, still, concessions would have to be made. Lifelong marriage is still the ideal. But we have not yet returned to an ideal state. We are only on the way. And it is because of Christ that we can even be on the way. The absolute ideal must be kept before us, and when any of us fails in radical obedience to the ideal, we are in need of forgiveness.

III. But that is exactly what the Church should be about: forgiveness. The Church's business is to bring people together, to pick up broken pieces, to rebuild broken lives. That is what resurrection is about: new life out of death, even the death of a marriage; and the Church is supposed, is charged to be, a community concerned with forgiveness, resurrection and new life. And of all times when people need the grace of the sacraments I and the fellowship of the Church, one is certainly during that time of rebuilding that comes during divorce and remarriage.

Now, we do not let people hide from the fact that failure has occurred, and we try to help them see where they have failed, so that the same mistakes will not be made again. And we help them to seek God's forgiveness for the failure - for the ideal is still lifelong marriage to one person.

The Church is' a community of people that in Christ will be perfect some day, in the next life. Here, we are only on the way, and we are sinners who are on the way. And it is this that determines our approach to marriage - and to remarriage - in this present life.

IV. My premarital conversations with couples prepar1ng for marriage go something like this: You think you are coming here to have me prepare you for marriage? No. I am preparing you for the wedding. It is your last 20-25 years that did or did not prepare you for marriage. So let's talk about your families, your parents, and their marriages. What did you like there, and what do you therefore want to do yourselves? And if there was a troubled marriage or a divorce (in parents or in your past life), what don't you want to have happen in your coming. Marriage? And what makes you think that this marriage will work when (if divorced) your last marriage didn't work?

The Gospel mentions Jesus blessing children - and one test of whether a marriage is working is whether children like to come to your home. The same could be said for friends. A home where children and friends love to come is surely a place where something is going right about the marriage in that home.

Well, more could be said. But that's enough for now.